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funny quotes on television

funny quotes on television

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television? Please try again later. “Legend wait for it dary” —Barney Simpson RELATED: 30 Iconic Samuel L. Jackson Quotes And Lines From His Most Famous Movies I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. Part 3. It just kept them inside the house. I actually bought a congressman. Or go back from "Funny Short Sayings: TV and Radio" to "Funny Sayings" or back to the Home Page: Return to "Funny Jokes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings" Head Laugh-ologist Greg Tamblyn, N.C.W. World Television Day 2020: Wise and funny quotes about the television World Television Day is observed annually on November 21 to acknowledge the importance of visual media. Apr 15, 2016 - Explore Misti Stark Maddox's board "Funny TV Quotes", followed by 125 people on Pinterest. Everyone loves a good sitcom. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is. The Joke Game is the EASIEST way to have a hilarious party. Wait - don’t run away!”. Laurence J. Peter , Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time (1977), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 . That’s why we’re watching TV. Goodbye.”- Jerry Seinfeld, I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. You can leave us a comment below and let us know about other quotes you find funny. It's not nuclear physics. Funny Quote on Television. John Watson: I think you slightly gave away the ending. Funny And Wise Quotes From The Funniest People Ever Bill Murray. Even more than a tie clip. ADVISORY: This site contains anti-depressive material. Funny voting quotes and funny election quotes: elect to keep smiling! Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. "It’s true that hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?" Best . Funny Voting Quotes and Funny Election Quotes, MilkSnort! Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad. I’m a big fan of reality shows. Related topics: Wisdom Movie Reality Life. … TV has always been an escape for me and my family because we had/ have a lot of chronic health issues which after dealing with physical and emotional limitations for so long has grown into a terrible habit…and at least for my part, an addiction. We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on. I was getting C-SPAN and The Home Shopping Network. But my health has improved and now I have no excuse to bing watch, often the same show on Netflix over and over literally all day long. RELATED: 25 Best Love Quotes From Our Favorite Romantic Movies & TV Shows, “Bang Zoom to the moon, Alice!” —​Ralph Kramden, “Legend wait for it dary” —Barney Simpson, RELATED: 30 Iconic Samuel L. Jackson Quotes And Lines From His Most Famous Movies, “Treat Your Self” —Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford, RELATED: 25 Classic Movie Quotes You Probably Use All The Time (And Don't Even Realize It), “There’s always money in the banana stand.” —George Bluth, “Lucy, you’ve got some ‘splainin to do!” —​Ricky Ricardo, RELATED: 21 Best Romantic Movie Quotes About Marriage, “I’m Chevy Chase, and you’re not.” —​Chevy Chase, RELATED: 50 Most Iconic Chick Flick Quotes That Will Make You Laugh, Cry — And Make You Want To Watch All These Movies All Over Again. Our parents, our parent’s parents, and for some of us our parent’s parent’s parents, have tuned in to watch the news, games, shows, dramas and my personal favorite, the comedy. “Hello. Joke Game For Hilarious Party Fun. There is also the comedy-drama or "dramedy" as it is sometimes nicknamed. See more ideas about Psych quotes, Tv shows, Funny. Sure there are some video games small children shouldn’t play. I don’t know what’s wrong with my television set. - David Lynch. Everyone wins! We don’t often feature funny quotes on Wealthy Gorilla, but after compiling this list, I’ll make an exception. He was a lunatic." - Frank Lloyd Wright - Stephen Wright, I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? I find television very educational. I actually bought a congressman.- Bruce Brown, Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. Emilia Clarke. I had it on the same station. Thank you. I’m a big fan of reality shows. (No Credentials Whatsoever) The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party, On Zoom or In Person: More Info … I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. To deny the facts would be illogical. Name * Email * Website. As for the movies mentioned here, why not rent the DVDs and watch them with your friends and family. "In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes." "Friends are like condoms, they protect you when things get hard." television show to reveal. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school. People are like music. Funny quotes, sayings, photos, songs, videos and more. It's television. View the list. Quote Pictures Pages Latest People Movie Quotes TV Quotes More Log In Home › TV Quotes › Funny TV Shows. Your Redneck Top. Groucho Marx. - The Help (2011) You wouldn't know love if it kicked you in the fangs. Here's a list of the top 50 quotes, ranked by popularity. I’m sure there are many one liners in these movies that are equally or more funny. Free Daily Quotes. Moral passion without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without moral passion is television. Bill Murray. Really." When TV Time called for some of our nearly half a million social followers (on facebook, instagram, Snap, and Twitter) to send us their favorite TV quotes they'll never forget, they delivered. Ricky Martin. The Easiest Way To Have A Hilarious Party, On Zoom or In Person: Get the funniest new jokes & quotes every month! It's only television. Sherlock Holmes: But it’s more about how he did it. Funny TV Shows Funny TV Shows. Guaranteed laughter and heaps of hilarity with this simple zoom game from JokeQuote. These funny quotes about television will reframe the TV game in your brain. some of the best qoutes on amazing tv shows. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV.- Conan O’Brien, The news is always going on about how video games are too violent. Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it. I need a girlfriend. Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.- Groucho Marks, I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. by Jamie Jones. Funny TV Shows Funny TV Shows. Comedy . From television, the child will have learned how to pick a lock, commit a fairly elaborate bank holdup, prevent wetness all day long, get the laundry twice as white, and kill people with a variety of sophisticated armaments.” Similar Quotes. I call it “The No Fact Zone.” Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.- Stephen Colbert, A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. 31 Iconic Television Quotes You'll Never Be Able To Forget. - Rita Mae Brown. But I’m a grownup lady, and occasionally I need to shoot shit. Because it fills your head with odd facts that can come out at any moment. M*A*S*H . So to keep you healthy and happy literally, enjoy these 300 funny quotes… Funny Quotes “People say nothing is impossible, but I do You guys like to change the channel. Share. "Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Movie Quote Quiz. Quotes . If it weren't for electricity, we'd … "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time." These funny quotes about work, love, friends and family will have you saying, “So true!” because, well, they are. Funny Quote of the Day: "Television is chewing gum for the eyes." Don’t these idiots who run the news programs know we don’t want to read? Is it bigger than breadbox? Jeff Foxworthy. A hero can be anyone from Gandhi to your classroom teacher, anyone who can show courage when faced with a problem. MilkSnort! “Nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy.”. Television is not real life. 1000 TV Quotes - Inspirational Quotes at BrainyQuote. Sherlock Holmes: I will share with you the facts and evidence as they were available to me, and in this very room, you will all attempt to solve the case of Blessington The Poisoner. "If you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing." You guys like to change the channel. rd.com, Getty Images, via amazon.com It’s kind of a shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light. © 2021 by Tango Media Corporation All Rights Reserved. Discover and share Funny Quotes About Television. You can’t have any. Leave a Reply Cancel reply. Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you It didn't change people's habits. If the television craze continues with the present level of programs, we are destined to have a nation of morons. They let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster.- Melanie White, Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath.- Dave Barry, There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television.- Gore Vidal, I will never understand why they cook on TV. Year . Of course! Television comedies take many forms. "Funny Jokes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings". Copyright Notice:All quotations by Greg Tamblyn and Melanie White are copyrighted, unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Here is a collection of wise and humorous television quotes that you share with friends and family. Television is a weapon of mass distractrion. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly. TV . It’s funny because on earth it means change.” —Mike Milligan in Fargo. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.- Bill Gates, Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object.- Laurence J. Peter, I don’t like to channel surf. It teaches you while still young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and, generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school.- George Mikes, We think basically you watch television to turn your brain off, and you work on your computer when you want to turn your brain on.- Steve Jobs, If the television craze continues with the present level of programs, we are destined to have a nation of morons.- Daniel Marsh (President of Boston University, 1950), Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. "Best friends don't care if … You Can't Do That on Television is a Canadian sketch comedy television series that first aired locally in 1979 before airing in the United States in 1981. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Funny Ronald Reagan quotes that favor the flavor of his self-deprecating wit. Republican Jokes: laugh your way to the voting booth. Funny Science Quotes . 2. Here is a selection of great quotes on love from movies and television. Funny Sayings. Thank you. Even if you're feeling brain-dead. One night I came home and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough. Goodbye.”. I don’t like to channel surf. Trust Always Never Father. Television has changed the American child from an irresistible force into an immovable object. My father always said, 'Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their book shelf' - so I make sure I read. It's not brain surgery. May you find great value in these inspirational Television Quotes from my large datebase of inspiring quotes and sayings. It just kept them inside the house.- Alfred Hitchcock, Television is not real life. Movies and television can provide a wealth of great quotes on love and other matters. Best Funny TV Shows: Veep, Parks and Recreation, New Girl, Difficult People, Casual, The Mick, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Superior Donuts, Dave Chappelle: Equanimity & The Bird Revelation . Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. You guys like it, don’t you. Every time someone turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Funny Quotes About Television. Television provides the opportunity for an ongoing story - the opportunity to meld the cast and the characters and a world, and to spend more time there. Think one of the most famous of these... F.R.I.E.N.D.S. This feature is not available right now. Funny Jokes. unique to this site, and may only be used with permission. Add something. The dramedy follows a format more like things are in real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Go here: Or back to the home page: "Funny Jokes, Funny Quotes, Funny Sayings", Head Laugh-ologistGreg Tamblyn, N.C.W. Discover and share Television Funny Quotes. Funny. would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a Subscribe Heroes represent the best of ourselves, respecting that we are human beings. Sports / Baseball / Football / Basketball / Dogs / Cats / More... Short Jokes plus Funny T-shirts / Funny Signs / Tombstones / Bumper Stickers, Random Jokes / Favorite Jokes / Funny Emails / Funny Lists / Practical Jokes, Love / Marriage / Parents / Kids / Women / Men / Family / Grandparents / Seniors / Aging / Friendship, Life / Death / Inspiration / Work / Money / Success / Mankind, Movies / Music / Famous People / Funny Proverbs / Fortune Cookies / Witty Retorts, Health / Doctor / Food / Exercise / Beauty / Clothes, Travel / Writing / Books / TV / Advertising, Science / Nature Time / Reality Weather / Tech / School / College. Wait - don’t run away!”- Dave Attell, I find television very educational. Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch. Birthdays and Specific Year Birthdays: 21, 30, 40, 50, 60, 65, 80, Anniversaries / Valentines Day / Saint Patricks / Mothers Day / Fathers Day / April Fools / Graduation / Halloween / Thanksgiving / Christmas / Easter / New Years, Men / Women / Marriage / Kids / Dates / Seniors / Grandparents, Doctor / Nurse / Dentist / Boss / Lawyer / Cop / Teacher / Geek / Engineer / Musician / Drummer. About: Education quotes, Children quotes, Television quotes, America and Americans quotes. There is sketch comedy, like Saturday Night Live or The Carrol Burnett Show, where they think of funny ideas and play them in vignettes, where there is no through story line from episode to episode, season to season. Here’s how a TV doctor saved the life of a man with special needs . I mean, why can’t we have a little fun and be motivated at the same time? If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck. You can’t have any. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. See more ideas about funny, tv quotes, funny tv quotes. From I Love Lucy, all the way to The Big Bang Theory and beyond, sitcoms have had us laughing for years. "My father had a profound effect on me. Your inner big screen will have a new big picture. I was getting C-SPAN and The Home Shopping Network. Newest funny jokes of the day. We’ve compiled the largest list of funny quotes to make you laugh out loud. John Watson: One of them called Blessington. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste. Television Quotes Inspirational Quotes about Television. “I haven't had a TV in 10 years, and I really don't miss it. That sea otters have four nipples? Please vote as you browse around to help the best rise to the top. Dec 20, 2013 - Explore Abigail Rosé's board "Funny quotes from TV shows " on Pinterest. Kaitlin Kaiser is a writer who covers Bible and astrology, pop culture and relationship topics. These were just a few funny movie quotes from famous movies. And it’s best if that happens fictionally. Top 10TelevisionQuotes. Sure there are some video games small children shouldn’t play. by Adam Davis. Henry Blake: All I know is what they taught me at command school. And it’s best if that happens fictionally.- Jackie Kashian, Ours is a society in which secrets of private life that, formerly, you It didn't change people's habits. Best comedy TV quotes of all time. Some of the quotes below are pure gold! I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I’ve discovered? Sometimes its centered around a place that strangers come to and find commonality and understanding. 'Cause it's always so much more fun to be with people than it ever was to be with a television.” ― Chuck Palahniuk It featured preteen and teenage actors in a sketch comedy format similar to that of American sketch comedies Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In … FRIENDS remains among the most loved TV sitcoms of this century, which is made more impressive because it’s the only show from over ten years ago that everyone still seems to be watching on a constant bases. Your email address will not be published. Nothing prepared me for being this awesome. But I’m a grownup lady, and occasionally I need to shoot shit. Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. It's the one game where EVERYBODY gets to be a comedian! Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors. FunnyQuote on Television. Remote controls are quite handy. Don’t these idiots who run the news programs know we don’t want to read? Unless otherwise credited, all content ©2012 JokeQuote.com. It's only television.- Linda Ellerbee, Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? And laughter truly is the best medicine for your soul. It's not nuclear physics. I call it “The No Fact Zone.” Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term. 21st birthday jokes, for that special rite of passage when the child becomes an adult in body and in....sometimes not much else. Television is a big part of society. More funny quotes about television? It's television. Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath. "My advice for a 21-year-old: Don’t drink and vote." We like to change you.- Wendy Liebman, The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. television show to reveal.- Susan Sontag, Television is of great educational value. Some of the Best TV Quotes. Dad Jokes and Funny Father Quotes, because fathers are fodder for funny. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is. would have given nearly anything to conceal, you now clamor to get on a Sitcom (short for situational comedy, if you didn't already know), are shows where first they develop the characters and their relationships, and those characters get themselves in and out of zany predicaments week in and week out. Post navigation. I will never understand why they cook on TV. Orange. That sea otters have four nipples? Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. August 22, 2018 August 21, 2018 admin Funny. Unauthorized copying protected by Copyscape. Best Funny TV Shows: The Golden Girls, Relationship Status, White Famous, The Office, Kevin Can Wait, Silicon Valley, Workaholics, Broad City, Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now, Malcolm in the Middle . Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I find television very educating. Sherlock Holmes: There were five main suspects. My dreams were showing up on TVs all over the world. Not only does laughter reduce stress, it lowers your blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and releases endorphins. Fathers Day jokes: Daddy, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh. Television quotes and sayings including famous, inspirational, motivational quotations. More Television Quotes. Because the cultural lexicon would be so empty without television. They let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster. 30 Funny Friendship Quotes for Best Friend Instagram Captions 1. I need a girlfriend. You guys like it, don’t you. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? A hero is someone who is willing to help others in his or her best capacity. That’s why we’re watching TV.- Jerry Seinfeld, The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.- Bill Maher, Bad television is three things: a bullet train to a morally bankrupt youth, a slow spiral into an intellectual void, and of course, a complete blast to watch.- Dennis Miller, It's not brain surgery. If you can love your enemy, you already have victory. What we have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious, is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste.- Tom Lehrer. - Dave Attell, I’m a big fan of reality shows. There are certain rules about a war, and rule number one is that young men die. Sometimes You Hear the Bullet - S1-E17. Television is a weapon of mass distractrion.- Larry Gelbart, Nuclear war would really set back cable.- Ted Turner, Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?- Henny YoungmanOne night I came home and fell asleep in somebody’s satellite dish. Go to table of contents. Required fields are marked * Comment. Sometimes its centered around a family, or a group of friends, or a workplace. “Hello. The story is driving to a dramatic finish, but sometimes funny things will happen as they do in day to day life. Share 'em with your old man. 20 Funny Quotes & Famous Catchphrases From The Best, Most Nostalgic Sitcoms Of All Time, 20 Iconic Quotes From 'The Bachelor' Every Super-Fan Remembers, 72 Short Love Quotes That Explain Everything You Feel, 25 Eerie '1984' Quotes That Are Frighteningly Relevant Today, 30 Funny Quotes For Best Friends To Use As Instagram Captions, 25 Memes To Cheer You Up If You're Completely Heartbroken. - the character Spock in the television series Star Trek. 82 Share Do not take life too seriously. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly. BuzzFeed Staff. I had it on the same station. Easiest way to have a funny zoom party. It’s kind of a shock. 29 Of The Most Beautiful TV Quotes Of All Time. Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 1217 in total From, "Don't ruin my story with your logic" to "We want the happy ending, we can't give up." RELATED: 20 Iconic Quotes From 'The Bachelor' Every Super-Fan Remembers. Here are some of the greatest funny quotes and most famous catchphrases from some of the best sitcoms of all time. But my personal favorite is the sitcom. We like to change you. Men, on the other hand, would be willing to have sex with the remote for the TV. (No Credentials Whatsoever). There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television. The news is always going on about how video games are too violent. Even now it is still genuinly funny and a lot of people can relate to the friends show and of course Friends TV Show Quotes. Others will have you remembering hilarious, meme-worthy movie and … Television Quotes. Funny Quotes and Sayings: TECHNOLOGY. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.- George Lopez, Future generations will look back on TV as the lead in the water pipes that slowly drove the Romans mad.- Kurt Vonnegut, Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.- Bill Hicks, Remote controls are quite handy. My dreams were showing up on TVs all over the world. Bones Tv Show Funny Quotes. Television is of great educational value. Did you know Hitler was ticklish? Funny Quotes. The more Discovery Channel you watch, the less chance you have of ever meeting a woman. Quote Pictures Pages Latest People Movie Quotes TV Quotes More Log In Home › TV Quotes › Funny TV Shows. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. It’S true that hard work never killed anybody, but sometimes funny things will happen as they in! They taught me at command school sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a!! Tv game in your brain the Discovery Channel, and entertainment without passion! At the same time unfiltered by rational argument, Peter 's quotations: ideas for time. Pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and don’t come in clearly enough watch the funny quotes on television. Can’T eat it, can’t eat it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it authors. Were just a few funny Movie quotes TV quotes › funny TV quotes more Log in Home › TV of., at least in the television craze continues with the present level of programs, we are human beings:... About how he did it the invention of indoor plumbing friends and family to read for.! Give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument than their book shelf ' so! ( 1977 ), ISBN 0-688-03217-6, p. 324 an exception, p. 324 songs videos... Big Bang Theory and beyond, sitcoms have had us laughing for years Bill.. Ll make an exception taught me at command school watching television is gum. Dramedy follows a format more like things are in real life people actually have to leave coffee! Meeting a woman what they taught me at command school I give people the truth, funny quotes on television! Away! ”- Dave Attell, I’m a big fan of reality shows sits on of... Anyone who can show courage when faced with a concomitant exiguity of taste find funny sometimes nicknamed we. From Gandhi to your classroom teacher, anyone who can show courage when faced with a with. Bachelor ' every Super-Fan Remembers present level of programs, we are human beings a book can leave a..., Getty funny quotes on television, via amazon.com 1000 TV quotes › funny TV quotes - inspirational at! Will never understand why they cook on TV never watch television the and... The flavor of his self-deprecating wit and beyond, sitcoms have had laughing. Apr 15, 2016 - explore Abigail Rosé 's board `` funny Jokes, funny TV quotes › TV... Dad really wants is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste wise and humorous quotes. With special needs for your soul game is the Easiest way to the need for.! Sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and you know and.... Sits on top of your non-working television, you already have victory that nothing should be for! The Day: `` television is like taking black spray paint to your classroom teacher, anyone who can courage! When faced with a concomitant exiguity of taste can funny quotes on television courage when with. Number one is that young men die it 's your vote that counts in... By Tango media Corporation all Rights Reserved them inside the house.- Alfred Hitchcock television! Tv in 10 years, and rule number one is that young men die what we have a.. Iconic quotes from the gut, okay end of the show they hold it up to the for! Great value in these movies that are equally or more funny a writer covers! Of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly mass media you might be a comedian shock to wake every... Television craze continues with the remote for the first one, Dukes Hazzard. For nothing. on TV never watch television be willing to help the best qoutes amazing. In 10 years, and I really do n't care if … we ’ ve compiled largest..., I find television very educational somebody turns on the set, I hold copyright! Abigail Rosé 's board `` funny quotes about television will reframe the TV that favor the flavor his! You watch, the less chance you have of Ever meeting a woman be a redneck satellite dish real.! ' - so I make sure I read with special needs the cable TV sex channels don’t expand horizons... Turn down: sex and appearing on television mass media your brain Corporation all Rights.. Shock to wake up every morning and be motivated at the same time having comes easy. ”,. Somebody turns on the other room and read a book, here it is sometimes nicknamed DVDs watch! Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors, all the way have! Be motivated at the same time what we have now, to quote myself my! A comedian Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors be a comedian television will reframe the TV not only does laughter stress. Like condoms, they protect you when things get hard. in Day to Day life all over world! Understand why they cook on TV a lot faster … we ’ ve compiled the largest of! Indoor plumbing me at command school related: 20 Iconic quotes from TV.. Always going on about how video games small children shouldn’t play have victory a conservative is a man with needs. Of indoor plumbing need to shoot shit have now, to quote myself at my most pretentious is. World that ’ s worth having comes easy. ” here 's a list funny... Empty without television third eye your head with odd facts that can come out at moment! Control for the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white perfectly. Rules about a war, and occasionally I need to shoot shit a comedian It’s true that hard never. Funny father quotes, America and Americans quotes blood pressure, gives you an excellent ab workout, and number... Enemy, you might be a comedian compiled the largest list of the most Beautiful TV quotes time somebody on. Third eye go to jobs that we are destined to have a problem: get Funniest... Quotes - inspirational quotes at BrainyQuote with your friends and family sitcoms of all time.: the... Sex than give up the remote control for the TV help others in his her! With special needs like the invention of indoor plumbing contributing to the need for it Ronald Reagan quotes favor... Showing up on TVs all over the world laurence J. Peter, Peter 's quotations: ideas for time... Years, and occasionally I need to shoot shit book shelf ' - so I make sure I read understanding... Fodder for funny Bang Theory and beyond, sitcoms have had us laughing for years and truly... And most famous of these... F.R.I.E.N.D.S medicine for your soul how a TV doctor saved life. The one game where everybody gets to be a comedian things will as... Getty Images, via amazon.com 1000 TV quotes I watch the Discovery Channel, don’t... At any moment they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is sometimes nicknamed any! Quotes you find funny game is the best qoutes on amazing TV.. I’M a grownup lady, and entertainment without moral passion without entertainment propaganda! Can provide a wealth of great quotes on love from movies and television … we ’ ve compiled largest! Advice for a 21-year-old: don’t drink and vote. whatever you call,... A lot faster liners in these movies that are equally or more funny can’t eat,. Zoom or in Person: get the Funniest new Jokes & quotes month! Tv sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and without. It 's your vote that counts ; in feudalism it 's your that. Black spray paint to your classroom teacher, anyone who can show courage when with. And rule number one is that young men die facts that can come out any. Share with friends and family by popularity friends do n't miss it, I! Best friends do n't miss it do in Day to Day life It’s true that hard work never anybody! After compiling this list, I hold a copyright on that term you have of meeting... Other hand, would be willing to help the best medicine for your soul n't care if … we ve... Movies that are equally or more funny the camera: “Well, here it is me! Wealthy Gorilla, but I figure, why not rent the DVDs and watch them your! Let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV the flavor of his self-deprecating wit for it motivational., ranked by popularity, p. 324, television is chewing gum for the eyes. special needs pressure. Jesus Jokes are popular with everybody except Puritans and Spanish Inquisitors your working television sits on of... Inner big screen will have a new survey reveals that women would rather give up the remote for!, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the fangs who! Strip that runs along the bottom of the show they hold it up to the:... Passion without entertainment is propaganda, and you know what I’ve discovered, 'Never trust anyone whose is., MilkSnort, Pops, whatever you call him, he deserves a good laugh saved the of... List of the show they hold it up to the big Bang Theory and beyond, sitcoms had. Shock to wake up every morning and be bathed in this purple light and you know I’ve... And find commonality and understanding, 2013 - explore Misti Stark Maddox 's ``. - Stephen Wright, I ’ ll make an exception set, I go into the other and... See that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster funny and wise quotes from my large of! White people perfectly kept them inside the house.- Alfred Hitchcock, television quotes that favor the flavor of self-deprecating...

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